‘Old School’ column: The resolution resolution

by CAROL McEWEN, for the Sun Gazette

[I wrote this column last year, and I’m offering it again because the resolution is the same and unfortunately, so are the results. I only changed the year.]

I am making only one resolution for 2022: No resolutions.

“Why?” you ask. Because I never keep them, so why bother?

Here is a list of my broken promises to myself:

1. Lose weight. Oh, of course, I’m the only person in Northern Virginia who has resolved to do this and failed. Ever been to a Weight Watchers meeting the first week of the new year? Then check it out again a couple of months later.
2. Eat healthier. I kept that one till I caught a whiff of Five Guys as I walked past in mid-January.
3. Exercise more. I actually stuck with this one a whole month until I got “busy” with work.
4. Be a more courteous driver. Wellll, that one lasted until the first time I was cut off in traffic.
5. Be nicer to my husband. He will tell you this one never got off the launch pad.
6. Buy fewer shoes. I kept this one until I realized I really NEEDED a pair of Stuart Weitzman’s to match that evening dress bought for the black-tie event for my husband’s work. I took one for the team to benefit his career.
7. Watch less TV and read more. I did pretty well with this one, since I like to read, until the novel I finished was made into a TV series. I mean, I HAD to watch to see if they had done justice to the book, right?
8. Do my own housework. This one was a complete non-starter. It was nice to think about all the money I’d save, but it seems unfair, somehow, to the people who do this for a living. I believe it was during the Reagan administration that the term “trickle-down economy” was coined. So I trickled already.

I’m sure I made other resolutions, but they’re lost to time and shame at my lack of self-discipline. I keep hoping some clever scientist will invent a “backbone” pill to strengthen my resolve.

Until then, I’ll waddle along through my Old School life in my unfit unhealthiness, driving like a maniac and snarling at my husband. But I’ll have great shoes and know the TV schedule by heart.

There are compensations, after all.

• • •

Reach Carol McEwen at carolwrites4fun@gmail.com.

‘Old School’ column: The resolution resolution

[I wrote this column last year, and I’m offering it again because the resolution is the same and unfortunately, so are the results. I only changed the year.]

I am making only one resolution for 2022: No resolutions.

“Why?” you ask. Because I never keep them, so why bother?

Here is a list of my broken promises to myself:

1. Lose weight. Oh, of course, I’m the only person in Northern Virginia who has resolved to do this and failed. Ever been to a Weight Watchers meeting the first week of the new year? Then check it out again a couple of months later.
2. Eat healthier. I kept that one till I caught a whiff of Five Guys as I walked past in mid-January.
3. Exercise more. I actually stuck with this one a whole month until I got “busy” with work.
4. Be a more courteous driver. Wellll, that one lasted until the first time I was cut off in traffic.
5. Be nicer to my husband. He will tell you this one never got off the launch pad.
6. Buy fewer shoes. I kept this one until I realized I really NEEDED a pair of Stuart Weitzman’s to match that evening dress bought for the black-tie event for my husband’s work. I took one for the team to benefit his career.
7. Watch less TV and read more. I did pretty well with this one, since I like to read, until the novel I finished was made into a TV series. I mean, I HAD to watch to see if they had done justice to the book, right?
8. Do my own housework. This one was a complete non-starter. It was nice to think about all the money I’d save, but it seems unfair, somehow, to the people who do this for a living. I believe it was during the Reagan administration that the term “trickle-down economy” was coined. So I trickled already.

I’m sure I made other resolutions, but they’re lost to time and shame at my lack of self-discipline. I keep hoping some clever scientist will invent a “backbone” pill to strengthen my resolve.

Until then, I’ll waddle along through my Old School life in my unfit unhealthiness, driving like a maniac and snarling at my husband. But I’ll have great shoes and know the TV schedule by heart.

There are compensations, after all.

• • •

Reach Carol McEwen at carolwrites4fun@gmail.com.